ky

after a week im back again.. hahaha.. wishing i could stay longer..but then i need to come back to reality… my life,,, happy.. nakapunta uli ako sa callao cave sa tuguegarao.. after a decade.. wow.. cant remember na un tym na nun.. it was nice sana nakapunta din kami sa sierra cave pero dangerous daw kaya di kmi punta kasi sakama un aking pamangkin.. ang kulit nga ng pamangkin kong nagngangalang justice… ni wre-wreslting ba kmi ng ate ko eh ang papayatot namin kunpara sa kanya.. grbe pero di sya iyakin 7 y.o pro alam un sinasabi nya.. ayos.. enjoy kita ko unlit un mga tindera ni ai dian na andun parin since un tagal na punta namin mga 7 yrs na un last na punta namin .. hhahaha.. enjoy… hehhehe.. di nga lng kmi nakasakay ng kalesa dun.. init kasi,,. kya tricycle lagi gmit namin.. hahahah pero un na ata un mageend ng summer ko.. pero happy parin.. sana magawa ko un dream ni ai dian.. need to do my best, hope that my best is enough to make that dream come true,… hahahah

how life works, i really dont know. how change comes, i cant foresee. how things work, il never know…

we all know that changes comes natural, but there at times that youjust want to stay where you are.. keep all your friends near and never let go.. why? cause you know chnge will come and steal them away from you. change will make you feel uncomfortable, uneasy cause they seem to change all the time wherein they drift away from you, only left with shallow hi’s and hello’s.. i miss those people i’v shared my laugh before.. seems there’s this gap, and i could never get to cross over it…

no.. none at all.. lets wait.. till dawn..

whats the name? hmmm…. let me think… .. hmmm… whats with the name?? hahahah.. i am satisfied.. knowing il end my summer job soon? why?? its time for me to benefit from bein a student of ust… hahahha… joke.. getting ready.. well rested before the school year starts again..

di ko lam kung san tayo pupulutin pag dumating un oras na kelangan nating maghiwalay.. di ko kayang maisip kung anu na mangyayari satin.. sana ganito parin pero malabo.. di ko alam.. malabo talaga.. cge.. may ilang taon pang pagiisipan kung panu..

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahaha… waiting in silence, thats where il be in the rest of my life.. im happy to know thats what il be doing.. waiting for God’s direction.. cause im so involved now.. i cant get away from it.. captured.. in a pit, i am hanging by a string.. string of fear to fall.. im clinging til im sure that il be safe with God’s authority to fall in.. but as of now im in pain again when this harm ends? til im dead? no way.. i have a life that i hope to live soon.. i can get through this i gotta get through this, im gonna make it through.. but first i need to see a doctor if i want to know whats happening to me.. kelan kaya?? hmm… hrap kc.. wlang kilalang doctor masyado.. hahahah.. anyway.. just laugh the pain away nlng..

lost in my world searching for the answers of an unknown. seems like im in the situation of hoping to be in a safe play, but im too involved now that i think about it, middle of nowhere, entangled and starting to be detrimental for me.. i cant let go,cause it would be hell to know afterwards, i cant continue, for i cant pretend and decieve myself.. but why do i still like the feeling, awkwardness, comfortablity, openness, familiarity… hope to be a close companion til im sure were meant to be together, until my Lord declares me a permission to love. until that day comes i’l always be the person i am.. but for you dont wait! having freedom to love, choose to love all the people around, for i can only give you my advice as to dont wait for yours may just be there with you all along.. lets be companions til we reach the end of our paths ..

what do i think of recently? hmm.. think think think… i llove hoping things would be like in the future with cathy and joanna.. they have creative minds.. more creative than mine i guess. sometimes reality hinders you to dream things you want to be.. so thats why.. hoping wishing that we’ll be together soon having our treasured chat about life..  im learning to live in a world i hate to be involved with and yet inm there.. it couldnt harm me naman.. so i guess. i just need endurance to get through that jail office.. hahaha.. bat kasi ayaw pa nu aunt bumalik.. grr.. anyway.. somehow i have freedom…to hate it.. hahah.. may be in a state of confusion where i dont know what to choose..and at the same time i could hurt somebody’s feelings in the process of doing the said decision.. i dont want to hurt somebody and at the same time i want to be happy.. yet still i need guidance.. i’ve been too aggressive this past month.. i dont know where that aggressiveness takes me.. maybe in resistance, in more confusion, in hurting also.. i guess.. maybe i should let it be.. but this time, i will do nothing.. i hope i could do that.. hehehe… less effort for me…